Are you attracting people that are the opposite of what you are looking for in a partner? Do they have qualities that don’t appeal to you, whether that means they party, don’t have direction, work too much or are obsessive?
If this has been happening often and you don’t know what’s wrong, then you might want to think about whether or not you’re attracting people that are just like you.
It’s actually quite common that we attract people who are mirror images of ourselves, who share the same likes, personality traits and even qualities. If you do notice that you share some of the same traits with your past partners, then it may be time to re-evaluate your core values.
Thinking About Yourself
What type of person are you? Do you need a lot of attention? Do you want a long-term relationship? Do you like to do things spontaneously rather than planned out?
Think about what you like, what type of values you have and some of the major personality traits that you like in yourself. After that, consider some of the things that you’d like to change, whether that means obsessing about things a little bit less or trying to change your anger so that it doesn’t control you.
It’s important to get to know yourself better so that you know what you stand for, who you are and what you can bring to a relationship.
Now that you know more about yourself, it’s time to be clear on who you want, but also who you need. While you might want someone who makes a lot of money and looks great, is that what you need?
When you are looking for the one, you have to think about what type of person you’ll want to be with well into the future. For example, would you be willing to date someone if they had a great job, but also had a really bad temper?
You can’t just name one thing that you’re looking for in someone else, because there are always going to be compromises that you’ll have to make. It’s important to look at what you want in a person that you’ll spend your future with, rather than someone you’ll just date for a couple of months.
Finding The ONE
When looking for “the one”, you should be clear on what you’re offering so that you know what you will bring to the relationship. Remember to act like the type of person you want in return, whether that means acting trustworthy, being a free-spirit, trying new things or being serious and goal-oriented.
If you aren’t giving off what you want in return, then you very well may end up attracting the same people over and over again, and that’s not going to lead you to the type of serious relationship that you’re looking for.
Once you start doing things differently, you’ll be able to evaluate your future partners better by seeing if they match your personality traits and overall values.
Dating isn’t going to be easy and finding “the one” won’t happen overnight, but when you’re honest with yourself and what type of values/traits you’re giving off, then things can become a lot more simple.